Reality check
Mar. 17th, 2009 07:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wren08I have about figured out part of why I have a trust issue. I have an issue with reality. I remember things... usually fairly well, I think... and then Mom or someone whom I should be able to trust tells me that it either didn't happen or it happened in such an altered form from what I am remembering that it's a totally different event.
Now, damn it, I have no way of checking if I am mis-remembering or they are or they are flat out lying to me.
This gives me the problem of either I am insane (don't think so but it's possible), or they are loosing their grip (possible... especially with Mom from the alcohol) or they are lying to manipulate me and make me doubt myself further. (That kind of person I don't need in my life at all, thanks.)
And it seems like anything more than a year ago, there is this huge variance in 'what really happened'. I don't care who's right, I really don't, but I sure would like to know why my version of reality doesn't match up to my family's?
This is why I like books. If you forget or there is a question... you can turn back and look it up.
Now, damn it, I have no way of checking if I am mis-remembering or they are or they are flat out lying to me.
This gives me the problem of either I am insane (don't think so but it's possible), or they are loosing their grip (possible... especially with Mom from the alcohol) or they are lying to manipulate me and make me doubt myself further. (That kind of person I don't need in my life at all, thanks.)
And it seems like anything more than a year ago, there is this huge variance in 'what really happened'. I don't care who's right, I really don't, but I sure would like to know why my version of reality doesn't match up to my family's?
This is why I like books. If you forget or there is a question... you can turn back and look it up.
